The Dandy Highwaymen’s Land Shanties lyrics archive: The Ballad of the Dandy Highwaymen
written by The Dandy Highwaymen
We are the Dandy Highwaymen
and we number only three
But once before we were many more
as you all soon shall see
While waylaying a noble’s coach
Vance held his pistol up
“Stand and Deliver!” he cried out
to make the driver stop
The driver saw the highwayman
in this aggressive stance
But the carraige kept a-rolling
right towards Vance
His shot rang out with a loud “Kaboom!”
a metal wheel it glanced
The ricochet it struck him down
and the coach rolled over Vance
Escaping the constable
Claudette was riding rushed
Over treacherous highways
the road most dangerous
When inside her pouch she remembered
a note from her true love
She reached to read it as she rode
its contents to learn of
She read the text distractedly
her horse still swift in stride
She missed the edge – went o’er the ledge
and well, Claudette, she died
We are the Dandy Highwaymen
innumerable were we
But thanks to Vance and swift Claudette
we number only three
Now we’ve shared with you the downfall
of our hapless late dear Vance
But what we haven’t mentioned
is what Vance had in his pants
See Vance was quite forgetful
so he kept himself a map
With notes to find our hideout
where the entire gang would nap
So when that carriage ended him
his map was surely found
And the constable arranged a crew
to bring our order down
But Claudette was held a captive
when the lawmen hatched their plot
And with a play she slipped away
to warn us what they’d got
Though as you know her mission
fell of short – as did her life
Damn notes from Vance – her one true love
The cause of all our strife
And so it was that hazard found
the Dandy Highwaymen
When the constable and all his crew
descended on our den
Percival fell bloody from the constable’s first shot
and with his dying breath he cried, “That was my best ascot!”
Harriet grabbed the powder horn, her flintlock for to load
too close to the campfire… so Harriet did explode
Bromley, Kent, and Hollis were all standing near the blast
So now we speak of Bromley, Kent, and Hollis in tense past
Our chef Louis was on about his ruined creme brulee
Until the lawmen sliced him up into Louis filet
But no one fought like Gaston, he was truly going to win
‘Til an adder came from somewhere and it bit him on the chin
And if you think this fracas sounds too awful to be true
That’s only what happened in the first minute or two
We are the Dandy Highwaymen
Innumerable were we
But since the fight that fateful night
We number only three