The Dandy Highwaymen’s Land Shanties lyrics archive: Four Finger Frederick
Four-finger Frederick had four fingers on each hand –
but if you count his thumbs, then there were five.
Taken altogether, that would be…ten fingers
on four-finger Frederick, when he was still alive.
You see, Four-finger Frederick loved a five-finger discount,
and he fancied lady fingers quite as well.
So when he saw the baker’s cart stocked and unattended,
he snatched himself a handful and flew like a bat from hell.
But Frederick lacked in self-restraint concerning lady fingers,
so as he fled, he stuffed his face for sure.
The coroner found the cause of death to be asphyxiation,
and the lady fingers in his throat had fittingly numbered two!
“Oh yes, everyone knows Frederick always ate his lady fingers in pairs.”
“Haha! Yes! Two-by-two-by-two-by-two…”
“Indeed! Everyone knows that about Frederick!”
And now that Frederick’s dead and gone,
we don our dandy wigs
and honor dear departed
with a mournful funeral jig.
…
So, here we all are gathered now to pay respects to Frederick
at his favorite pub to get himself a pour;
And we ask you, dear old barkeep, for a round of Frederick’s favorite:
Frankish brandy measured out a finger’s count of four!